Seniors: Moving on from a Denial

There are many reasons a student may receive a denial letter. The application process is all about you and showing colleges who you are but the decision process is often more about the colleges and their priorities. Don’t take it personally. You weren’t denied— your application was. Probably the last thing you want to hear is that it’s important to learn to deal with rejection, but it is a valuable life lesson. Life isn’t fair and neither is the college admission process. The majority of students who apply to selective colleges are qualified to attend, but there simply isn’t room.

If you have been denied at a college on your list, let yourself feel disappointed. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Talk with your parents and friends about it— or not. Post your rejection letter on the wall of shame— or not. The choice is yours. Where you have been accepted or denied is your business and no one else’s unless you choose to share that information. And don’t worry that you may have disappointed your parents, teachers, or others in your life. They want what is best for you, which is to move on and be happy about the choices you do have. So allow yourself to feel sad, but don’t wallow in feelings of disappointment for too long. Move on. Now you get to make a choice among the schools that said yes. 

For more information about admission decisions, including what to do if you're waitlisted and a final checklist before graduation, see Chapter 17, “Notification and Making the Decision" in College Admission: From Application to Acceptance, Step by Step.